Victory in war is not glorious and not to be celebrated, but stems from devastation, and is to be mourned. -- from the Dao De Jing
This is not an anti-war statement. The Dao admits that sometimes there is a need for war. History has it's Hitlers. However, the glorification of war dehumanizes us.
As an American living abroad, I sometimes find myself in a situation where I need to explain that American is not about war, or military might, that it's about freedom, and the love of freedom. Those who go about muscle flexing, like Mr Bush, give America a bad name and confuse the issues. Our soldiers are there to protect us and to help those who would otherwise be subjected to suppression and cruelty at the hands of fanatics. We need to keep that in perspective.
A State of Being
I had one of those ‘YES!’ moments while doing my gardening meditation and listening to Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I was listening to Chapter 8, ‘Acceptance of the Now’. Tolle said:
The happiness that is derived from some secondary source is never very deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of ‘Being’, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state of nonresistance. ‘Being’ takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.
When a spiritual practice brings happiness, there is a compulsion to continue the spiritual practice for the sake of happiness itself. This is known as Spiritual Materialism, and is the reason why many spiritual practices fail.
Happiness is transient. However, a state of ‘Being’ is not. A state of ‘Being’ is your true existence. It always was and always will be. How could it be anything else? You exist because you exist; it’s as simple as that. It is this simple realization of your state of ‘Being’ that manifests ‘the vibrant peace that you find within you’; whether or not you are happy. I’m OK with that.
The happiness that is derived from some secondary source is never very deep. It is only a pale reflection of the joy of ‘Being’, the vibrant peace that you find within as you enter the state of nonresistance. ‘Being’ takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you from dependency on form. Even if everything were to collapse and crumble all around you, you would still feel a deep inner core of peace. You may not be happy, but you will be at peace.
When a spiritual practice brings happiness, there is a compulsion to continue the spiritual practice for the sake of happiness itself. This is known as Spiritual Materialism, and is the reason why many spiritual practices fail.
Happiness is transient. However, a state of ‘Being’ is not. A state of ‘Being’ is your true existence. It always was and always will be. How could it be anything else? You exist because you exist; it’s as simple as that. It is this simple realization of your state of ‘Being’ that manifests ‘the vibrant peace that you find within you’; whether or not you are happy. I’m OK with that.
Relationship as Spiritual Practice
I have been listening to Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle while getting the garden ready for spring, which is a wonderful form of gardening meditation. My favourite section is ‘Relationship as Spiritual Practice’. I don’t think I am alone in finding that personal relationships are the greatest challenge to one’s spiritual journey. Friends, lovers, husbands, daughters, mothers-in-law, co-workers, neighbors, parents, sisters. (Oh! Don’t get me started on sisters!) The butcher, the baker. Even the plumber! You name it! There are times when it feels like the whole world has gone crazy.
Maybe the world is crazy. All of us are a little crazy to some extent. Or, maybe it’s just a case of not being awake, of being ‘unconscious’.
I try to be conscious; I’m not always successful. When my pain body takes over, especially in response to someone else’s pain body, I give myself a mental slap on the forehead and say, ‘There you go again, being unconscious’. (I don’t say this out loud; I wouldn’t want to give the impression that I am crazy.) But, and this is a important ‘But’, the fact that I notice my unconsciousness is indication that I am actually conscious.
There are two parts to this; the first is waking up and being conscious; the second is being conscious of the fact that you are conscious. When you experience this realization, that you are conscious, the ‘I AM’ emerges as the silent watcher. In this state of awareness the silent watcher (you) is aware of its own conscious presence, which is the essence of the Power of Now. When you are in this state you can be with others in a state of consciousness, whether or not they are conscious. When you are with others in a state of consciousness, there is no need to judge, no need to retaliate, no need to make sure that you are not being taken advantage of, being victimized, or not getting your fair share.
There is another side to this that I have become aware of. Seeking a state of perpetual consciousness, a future time when I and all those around me are conscious, is an unconscious activity. This is not the Power of Now; it is the (mistaken) power of a future that never arrives. The Power of Now is realizing that I am already conscious and that this consciousness is within me, not external, not in those around me. There is much less suffering in this state. In fact, it opens up a whole new realm of love, compassion, and meaningful relationships, independent on the behavior of others, and therefore secure. In this way, relationships themselves become a spiritual practice.
It would be nice if everyone were able to be conscious all the time. But this is not the case, not with me and not with those I share my life with. However, I can raise the level of my own consciousness, and in this way help to raise the level of consciousness in others. This in itself is a spiritual journey, and can become the spiritual journey of everyone – a gift to humanity.
Maybe the world is crazy. All of us are a little crazy to some extent. Or, maybe it’s just a case of not being awake, of being ‘unconscious’.
I try to be conscious; I’m not always successful. When my pain body takes over, especially in response to someone else’s pain body, I give myself a mental slap on the forehead and say, ‘There you go again, being unconscious’. (I don’t say this out loud; I wouldn’t want to give the impression that I am crazy.) But, and this is a important ‘But’, the fact that I notice my unconsciousness is indication that I am actually conscious.
There are two parts to this; the first is waking up and being conscious; the second is being conscious of the fact that you are conscious. When you experience this realization, that you are conscious, the ‘I AM’ emerges as the silent watcher. In this state of awareness the silent watcher (you) is aware of its own conscious presence, which is the essence of the Power of Now. When you are in this state you can be with others in a state of consciousness, whether or not they are conscious. When you are with others in a state of consciousness, there is no need to judge, no need to retaliate, no need to make sure that you are not being taken advantage of, being victimized, or not getting your fair share.
There is another side to this that I have become aware of. Seeking a state of perpetual consciousness, a future time when I and all those around me are conscious, is an unconscious activity. This is not the Power of Now; it is the (mistaken) power of a future that never arrives. The Power of Now is realizing that I am already conscious and that this consciousness is within me, not external, not in those around me. There is much less suffering in this state. In fact, it opens up a whole new realm of love, compassion, and meaningful relationships, independent on the behavior of others, and therefore secure. In this way, relationships themselves become a spiritual practice.
It would be nice if everyone were able to be conscious all the time. But this is not the case, not with me and not with those I share my life with. However, I can raise the level of my own consciousness, and in this way help to raise the level of consciousness in others. This in itself is a spiritual journey, and can become the spiritual journey of everyone – a gift to humanity.
Being Human
Have you ever wondered why we use the term human being? We don’t say fish being or bird being , so why do we say human being?
The term homo sapiens is Latin for ‘wise human’ or ‘knowing human’. (Is this an oxymoron, like ‘military intelligence’?) I suppose that makes sense from a scientific perspective, so I understand its use . . . sort of.
But when I tried to look into the origin of the term human being, I could only find that the concept of ‘being’ with regards to humans came into existence during the 1700s. Not much to go on.
I saw a commercial recently, where someone said, ‘I am not a human doing or a human thinking. I am a human being.’ What a beautiful statement – so simple, so pure.
The word being means simply the state of existing. It specifically denotes that which is, as opposed to that which is not, or that which only seems to be. This is really important. Think about how often we get the ‘being’ mixed up with the ‘seeming’. The two are so vastly different, and yet tricky to differentiate. The ‘seeming’ is often confused with the ‘being’, which leads to divisiveness (some of it intentional), misunderstanding, and suffering. And yet a fish or a bird does not participate in these uncertainties. They are naturally in a state of oneness with being, unlike humans who get lost in the seeming.
I have hope that the human race, that is, all human beings, will someday honour the being of things, and be able to spot when the seeming of things obstructs the true nature of our existence.
The term homo sapiens is Latin for ‘wise human’ or ‘knowing human’. (Is this an oxymoron, like ‘military intelligence’?) I suppose that makes sense from a scientific perspective, so I understand its use . . . sort of.
But when I tried to look into the origin of the term human being, I could only find that the concept of ‘being’ with regards to humans came into existence during the 1700s. Not much to go on.
I saw a commercial recently, where someone said, ‘I am not a human doing or a human thinking. I am a human being.’ What a beautiful statement – so simple, so pure.
The word being means simply the state of existing. It specifically denotes that which is, as opposed to that which is not, or that which only seems to be. This is really important. Think about how often we get the ‘being’ mixed up with the ‘seeming’. The two are so vastly different, and yet tricky to differentiate. The ‘seeming’ is often confused with the ‘being’, which leads to divisiveness (some of it intentional), misunderstanding, and suffering. And yet a fish or a bird does not participate in these uncertainties. They are naturally in a state of oneness with being, unlike humans who get lost in the seeming.
I have hope that the human race, that is, all human beings, will someday honour the being of things, and be able to spot when the seeming of things obstructs the true nature of our existence.
Touched By An Angel
On the Greyhound bus to Tampa, I sat next to Patsy. She, too, was on a spiritual journey - to spend the weekend with her spiritual teacher. Patsy was in a place of deep suffering, living with an abusive partner, serious health issues, almost no income. I told Patsy that for the vast majority of people in this world, suffering is their spiritual teacher. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiled, and told me that she had never felt good about suffering before. When we parted in Tampa, she gave me a hug and told me that she had been touched by an angel.
Touched by an angel . . . Looking back over the days I spent in the States, I realise that this was the theme of my travels. I, too, was touched in a very special way by the many people who briefly entered my life.
In Tampa, I met, for the first time, a woman I think of as my 'mom', and another woman who I now think of as my 'sister'. This was one of the best things that has happened to me in a very long time. I am loved. I know that. I cherish that and hold it close to my heart like the precious gift that it is. Mom and Gudrun, you are the angels of love in my life.
While visiting with my 'mom', I met up with the Tampa Eckhart Tolle group. We watched a session recorded at Eckhart's India retreat, then discussed spaciousness, the ego, and profound thoughts such as; "Are we corks floating down the stream of life, or are we the stream itself?" The people there were very spiritual. Spirituality, when shared in a non-egoistic setting, can be very powerful. They were my angles of enlightenment.
On my way back to my daughter's house in Pennsylvania, an Amish family got on the train just after Philadelphia. I gave up my seat so that they could sit together, and sat next to Teresa. The reason why I sat next to Teresa was that she invited me to sit with her. I have come to believe that there is a magnetic attraction between people on spiritual journeys. We somehow drift together in our travels through life.
An older woman, grey, with an impish personality, Teresa told me that she spends much of her time at peace demonstrations around the world. (I hope I am that energetic when I am her age!) It was she who told me about Article 9 in the Japanese Constitution. She told me that the United States was trying to get Japan to change Article 9. It is her hope that Japan will not do that.
Teresa is a warrior angel of peace.
I celebrated my granddaughter's 21st birthday with her in New Cumberland, Pennsylvania. Eva has become a beautiful young woman. And her mother, my first born, has reached the age where she has discovered feminine solidarity. The three of us shared so much during those days. They are my angels of womanhood and family love.
I met up with Debbie and Tony in Pittsburgh. We were only able to spend one day together, which wasn't enough. There was so much to get caught up on. My relationship with Debbie and Tony is such that we can go years without hearing from each other, then pick up right where we left off. They are my angels of genuine and enduring friendship.
Between Chicago and Albuquerque I met several delightful people on the train. There was a woman who had managed a remarkable recovery from a serious neural infection. She was told that she would never walk again. But she did, indeed, learn to walk, at the same time that her grandson learned to walk. Now, she is the intrepid traveller, kitted out efficiently with a good back pack, a sun hat, sensible clothes, the best of walking boots, and a cane.
I also met Maurice - a Slovakian in his 80's and proud of it. Maurice told us that he was quite the ladies' man when he was younger. He showed us a picture taken in his 30's, and he was indeed handsome. When asked if he had ever been to Albuquerque before, he said with a smile that yes, he had, a long time ago chasing after a woman that he had fallen in love with.
Spending 25 hours on a train, with people drifting in and out of my day, I became very fond of humankind. There were so many interesting conversations; we saved the world several times over. I was reminded that there are truly compassionate people out there who really care about what is going on in this world -- Mother Earth's guardian angels.
In Albuquerque, I had lunch with Fred at the Owl Cafe on historic Route 66. This was a planned meeting. Fred is an Eckhart Tolle group facilitator. I met with him because I wanted to exchange notes. He's my age, grey with a white beard, and lives up in the mountains overlooking Albuquerque. He looked like a mountain man, dressed for the desert chill that had begun to settle in that part of the world. We had much in common, being on similar spiritual paths. When we said goodbye, we gave each other a heartfelt hug and swore to keep in touch. I know in my heart that Fred will be another angel of genuine and enduring friendship. One can never have too many of those.
In Santa Fe, I met up with Nancy. Nancy is a grandmother who is called 'Nana' by those who know her personally. She also is an Eckhart Tolle group facilitator. We hit it off immediately. She is, indeed, a grandmother type, wise and openly compassionate. She took me to the Amma Centre for the Saturday evening service and a wonderful meal (vegetarian chilli, fresh salad, cornbread and chocolate cake), where I met a woman doing a study on farmer suicide in India.
Known as the 'hugging saint', Amma is a profoundly compassionate spiritual teacher who has devoted her life to caring for the creatures of this earth. She wasn't there that evening, but I got plenty of hugs anyway.
'Nana' and I became very close in just that one evening. When I said goodbye before heading back to my hotel, we hugged, and again, I knew that I had found another angel of genuine and enduring friendship.
My final journey -- Santa Fe to Chicago, Chicago to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to Harrisburg, with a short stay at my daughter's, then Harrisburg to Philadelphia, Philadelphia to Baltimore, Baltimore to the UK, and finally the bus back to Southampton -- was the longest and the most pensive journey I have ever made. I spent almost the entire time alone with my thoughts, or alone with no thoughts at all, just dwelling in a cosy place of contemplation and stillness. I had been touched by many angels, which was a blessing. Also, I had meant to find my grandmother's birthplace while in New Mexico, but could only find her in the 1930's census. I had gone to the pueblo where I think she was born. But that is another story for another time.
Travelling alone is quite an experience, especially when it is sprinkled with planned and chance meetings - angels with the capacity to touch me deeply. It's sad in a way, getting to know people, then leaving them thousands of miles behind after saying goodbye. But I wouldn't have changed any of it. It was the perfect combination of solitude and companionship; I had my cake and ate it too. I am definitely going to do this again next year.
Touched by an angel . . . Looking back over the days I spent in the States, I realise that this was the theme of my travels. I, too, was touched in a very special way by the many people who briefly entered my life.
In Tampa, I met, for the first time, a woman I think of as my 'mom', and another woman who I now think of as my 'sister'. This was one of the best things that has happened to me in a very long time. I am loved. I know that. I cherish that and hold it close to my heart like the precious gift that it is. Mom and Gudrun, you are the angels of love in my life.
While visiting with my 'mom', I met up with the Tampa Eckhart Tolle group. We watched a session recorded at Eckhart's India retreat, then discussed spaciousness, the ego, and profound thoughts such as; "Are we corks floating down the stream of life, or are we the stream itself?" The people there were very spiritual. Spirituality, when shared in a non-egoistic setting, can be very powerful. They were my angles of enlightenment.
On my way back to my daughter's house in Pennsylvania, an Amish family got on the train just after Philadelphia. I gave up my seat so that they could sit together, and sat next to Teresa. The reason why I sat next to Teresa was that she invited me to sit with her. I have come to believe that there is a magnetic attraction between people on spiritual journeys. We somehow drift together in our travels through life.
An older woman, grey, with an impish personality, Teresa told me that she spends much of her time at peace demonstrations around the world. (I hope I am that energetic when I am her age!) It was she who told me about Article 9 in the Japanese Constitution. She told me that the United States was trying to get Japan to change Article 9. It is her hope that Japan will not do that.
Teresa is a warrior angel of peace.
I celebrated my granddaughter's 21st birthday with her in New Cumberland, Pennsylvania. Eva has become a beautiful young woman. And her mother, my first born, has reached the age where she has discovered feminine solidarity. The three of us shared so much during those days. They are my angels of womanhood and family love.
I met up with Debbie and Tony in Pittsburgh. We were only able to spend one day together, which wasn't enough. There was so much to get caught up on. My relationship with Debbie and Tony is such that we can go years without hearing from each other, then pick up right where we left off. They are my angels of genuine and enduring friendship.
Between Chicago and Albuquerque I met several delightful people on the train. There was a woman who had managed a remarkable recovery from a serious neural infection. She was told that she would never walk again. But she did, indeed, learn to walk, at the same time that her grandson learned to walk. Now, she is the intrepid traveller, kitted out efficiently with a good back pack, a sun hat, sensible clothes, the best of walking boots, and a cane.
I also met Maurice - a Slovakian in his 80's and proud of it. Maurice told us that he was quite the ladies' man when he was younger. He showed us a picture taken in his 30's, and he was indeed handsome. When asked if he had ever been to Albuquerque before, he said with a smile that yes, he had, a long time ago chasing after a woman that he had fallen in love with.
Spending 25 hours on a train, with people drifting in and out of my day, I became very fond of humankind. There were so many interesting conversations; we saved the world several times over. I was reminded that there are truly compassionate people out there who really care about what is going on in this world -- Mother Earth's guardian angels.
In Albuquerque, I had lunch with Fred at the Owl Cafe on historic Route 66. This was a planned meeting. Fred is an Eckhart Tolle group facilitator. I met with him because I wanted to exchange notes. He's my age, grey with a white beard, and lives up in the mountains overlooking Albuquerque. He looked like a mountain man, dressed for the desert chill that had begun to settle in that part of the world. We had much in common, being on similar spiritual paths. When we said goodbye, we gave each other a heartfelt hug and swore to keep in touch. I know in my heart that Fred will be another angel of genuine and enduring friendship. One can never have too many of those.
In Santa Fe, I met up with Nancy. Nancy is a grandmother who is called 'Nana' by those who know her personally. She also is an Eckhart Tolle group facilitator. We hit it off immediately. She is, indeed, a grandmother type, wise and openly compassionate. She took me to the Amma Centre for the Saturday evening service and a wonderful meal (vegetarian chilli, fresh salad, cornbread and chocolate cake), where I met a woman doing a study on farmer suicide in India.
Known as the 'hugging saint', Amma is a profoundly compassionate spiritual teacher who has devoted her life to caring for the creatures of this earth. She wasn't there that evening, but I got plenty of hugs anyway.
'Nana' and I became very close in just that one evening. When I said goodbye before heading back to my hotel, we hugged, and again, I knew that I had found another angel of genuine and enduring friendship.
My final journey -- Santa Fe to Chicago, Chicago to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to Harrisburg, with a short stay at my daughter's, then Harrisburg to Philadelphia, Philadelphia to Baltimore, Baltimore to the UK, and finally the bus back to Southampton -- was the longest and the most pensive journey I have ever made. I spent almost the entire time alone with my thoughts, or alone with no thoughts at all, just dwelling in a cosy place of contemplation and stillness. I had been touched by many angels, which was a blessing. Also, I had meant to find my grandmother's birthplace while in New Mexico, but could only find her in the 1930's census. I had gone to the pueblo where I think she was born. But that is another story for another time.
Travelling alone is quite an experience, especially when it is sprinkled with planned and chance meetings - angels with the capacity to touch me deeply. It's sad in a way, getting to know people, then leaving them thousands of miles behind after saying goodbye. But I wouldn't have changed any of it. It was the perfect combination of solitude and companionship; I had my cake and ate it too. I am definitely going to do this again next year.
The Stillness Hour
I was given the gift of stillness last weekend. I was in the Midlands, at a food festival, and came across a display of brochures and small posters with words like “stillness” and “silence” and other profound thoughts that appealed to me. I stopped, asked some questions, and was invited to the Quaker service for the following morning to share an hour of stillness.
When I arrived, I was met by someone who quietly showed me where to put my umbrella and hang my jacket. Then, he took me into a room where about 20 people were sitting in silence. I took my seat, returned some smiles, closed my eyes and . . .
Breathed? . . . . . Sat? . . . . . I think the words ‘I was Present’ come closest. How do I describe something with words when words themselves are the opposite of what I am describing? The sun was pouring in from the tall windows. It had warmed my face, and I was aware of the glorious abundance of life.
It could have been different. I’ve been in similar situations, where I had just met a group of people, and have always felt compelled to explain myself – who I am, where I’m from, what I do, why I’m there.
But not that Sunday morning; which was good.
It seems that the more I settle into a spiritual practice of stillness, the more reluctant I am to define myself. It seems that anything more than, ‘I am me’ would be less that sincere. I really don’t want to be different or better than -- and labels only separate me from others. We all exist from the same consciousness. We are all children of the same universe. In stillness, the absence of ego is replaced by humble compassion. I have become comfortable with that. Although I still sometimes feel I need to justify my existence (I'm working on that) I don't always give in to the compulsion. And that feels so much better.
So, as a spiritual practice, I think Quakers have the right idea. Simple stillness as a form of worship has no imposed fences and requires no signposts. There is no one to tell you how to think, how to behave, or what to believe in. It was simply the sharing of stillness, a practice that, when in the presence of others, gives access to a universal consciousness that is the essence of who we truly are.
My Ego Hurts
I have learned to understand the nature of my ego. From Buddhism I learned the concept of ‘We are all the same human being’; something the Dahlia Lama says when he speaks. The first time I heard this I thought it was a peculiarity of his speech. English is not his first language. I thought he meant to say, ‘We are, as human beings, the same’. But he really did mean ‘the same human being’, as in a single entity. He was trying to make a point.
Steve Hagan says, in Buddhism Plain and Simple, that we are not corks floating down the stream of life; that we are the stream itself. The cork is an illusion, one that causes much suffering, for ourselves and for others.
More recently, I have been studying the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. I spend at least an hour each day, sometimes several, listening to his talks. I am gaining an in-depth understanding of the human condition, of the collective insanities, and of the role that the ego has played in a world gone mad. I know that it’s the millions and millions of little egos seeking supremacy over everything, including their hosts, which have caused most of the suffering in this world -- from the mindless destruction of our earth’s biosystems, to the greedy ethics of corporations and political structures, to the mundane conflicts that plague most relationships.
I know all this. And yet…. and yet, my ego hurts. It’s in pain.
I have learned that I can keep my ego from gaining dominance. It isn’t that it wants to be on top, or that it needs to convince itself that it is better than this person or that person. It’s not asking me to take it on a shopping spree, or to overeat, or to spend the afternoon vegging out on computer games, or to look for someone that it can manipulate into making it feel better. I’ve gone beyond that tomfoolery. It’s just that it hurts, and it’s afraid. It’s the betrayals, the memory of pain caused by the egos of others, that is doing me in.
I’m not chewing away at things. I know the danger of wrapping a ‘Story’ around the events of my past. These stories empower the ego, distort one’s perspective, hide the truth, and in the end, cause more suffering. I learned the folly of that a long time ago. It doesn’t work for me anymore.
Ah …. the painful truth. It’s no wonder we hide from it.
The past is the past. Things happened, just like things happen to all of us. But sometimes I wonder if too much damage has been done. Will I ever be free of the past? Is anyone ever free of the past?
Steve Hagan says, in Buddhism Plain and Simple, that we are not corks floating down the stream of life; that we are the stream itself. The cork is an illusion, one that causes much suffering, for ourselves and for others.
More recently, I have been studying the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. I spend at least an hour each day, sometimes several, listening to his talks. I am gaining an in-depth understanding of the human condition, of the collective insanities, and of the role that the ego has played in a world gone mad. I know that it’s the millions and millions of little egos seeking supremacy over everything, including their hosts, which have caused most of the suffering in this world -- from the mindless destruction of our earth’s biosystems, to the greedy ethics of corporations and political structures, to the mundane conflicts that plague most relationships.
I know all this. And yet…. and yet, my ego hurts. It’s in pain.
I have learned that I can keep my ego from gaining dominance. It isn’t that it wants to be on top, or that it needs to convince itself that it is better than this person or that person. It’s not asking me to take it on a shopping spree, or to overeat, or to spend the afternoon vegging out on computer games, or to look for someone that it can manipulate into making it feel better. I’ve gone beyond that tomfoolery. It’s just that it hurts, and it’s afraid. It’s the betrayals, the memory of pain caused by the egos of others, that is doing me in.
I’m not chewing away at things. I know the danger of wrapping a ‘Story’ around the events of my past. These stories empower the ego, distort one’s perspective, hide the truth, and in the end, cause more suffering. I learned the folly of that a long time ago. It doesn’t work for me anymore.
Ah …. the painful truth. It’s no wonder we hide from it.
The past is the past. Things happened, just like things happen to all of us. But sometimes I wonder if too much damage has been done. Will I ever be free of the past? Is anyone ever free of the past?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
